Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
