He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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