I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
