Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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