I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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