I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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