It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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