Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
