Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize