some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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