Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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