Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
