Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
