david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Randomize
