Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
