Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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