My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
