Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
