look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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