That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
