Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
