Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
