I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
