Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize