Ambien. No doubt about it.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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