I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
