I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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