Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Randomize
