I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
