i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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