Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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