I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Holy sore nipples Batman
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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