Betty ford says i'm here all night
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
