So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
