I like to think it a success when the cops are called
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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