the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
