I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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