new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
