he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
