i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
