You really coming over, don't trick.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
