we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Randomize
