i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
