In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
