And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
operation have a gay friend backfired
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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