right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
