We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
