new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
