If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
