i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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