You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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