just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
that may or may not have been my penis.
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