You smell like stripper and shame
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Randomize
