walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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