she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
