He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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