is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize